We've been enjoying our time as a family. Each day is spent caring for these boys and growing them to be who Christ calls them to be. They are growing me.
As much as I think I am growing them, they are growing me.
It's amazing how they draw me closer to my own parent...my heavenly father. I realize through my boys how DESPERATE I am for a SAVIOR. I'm IN DESPERATE NEED. There are times that I feel like such a failure as a parent. I feel as if I am in a constant cycle of trying to figure out how to be everything that each one of these boys, ALL THREE OF THESE BOYS, need me to be. BUT it's impossible. It's not humanly possible to be what they need. I'm out numbered. I can't expect perfection out myself. I am in desperate need of God's grace and the grace of my boys EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I'm so in love.
John is such an amazing provider for our family. He loves his boys. HE loves me, even when I am most irritable and tired and just UNLOVEABLE. He still loves me. I'm so grateful for his grace.
Channing...sweet sweet Channing is an incredible older brother and gives love generously to his brother. Unsolicited love. I'm amazed at how gentle and caring he is towards him. He's precious. I love his heart. He has given me grace throughout these last eight weeks. He seems to understand that mommy needs grace. SO.MUCH. GRACE. He's been giving me a generous amount of unsolicited love as well. His open mouth kisses make my heart melt.
Xander. He is very cuddly and snuggly. I'm constantly having to remind myself that I must not expect the same things from him that is "typical" of a 2 month old. He's growing and changing every day. I'm excited to see who he becomes. Grace is key for 3 AM.