Friday, March 9, 2012

HIS STORY

On Tuesday, February 29th we were so blessed.

Our day started out wonderful because Daddy was home with us ALL DAY! This is such a treat and we had been gone all weekend on a retreat with students, so John decided to have a family day with us on Tuesday. That morning we had our favorite Berry Family breakfast, blueberry pancakes. It was already gorgeous outside by 9 so we opened the doors & windows and enjoyed the weather on the patio in the backyard. Channing loves days like this because he comes in and out as he pleases. I had a list of a few things I really wanted to accomplish before the baby arrived and one thing on that list was to reinforce my garden walls & to weed and till the soil so that it would be ready for planting right after Easter. John decided it was a perfect day for this project so we got going as a family. Looking back now, I wish I had taken pics. It was so awesome that my omniscient  God knew that this was our last day as a family of THREE and allowed us such a fun, memorable time together. Channing was COVERED from head to toe in dirt. He loved helping daddy with the hammer and pitchfork and helping mommy with some weeds. We ate lunch on the patio & played with our neighbors little girl that afternoon. I decided during nap time to bake some banana bread & clean up down stairs all the way down to mopping the kitchen floor (note: this NEVER happens...I LOATHE mopping!) We grilled out that night & enjoyed bath time and putting Channing down around 7 together. He was EXHAUSTED from his very busy day. I was too and decided to take a little nap. I told John to come and wake me in thirty minutes.

I woke around 10 and went downstairs. John had tried to wake me up but said I was OUT and didn't budge at his promptings. I had to really force myself to get up at 10. I laid on the couch and enjoyed some ice cream while John gave me my nightly foot rub. But as I laid there I noticed some very uncomfortable feelings in my lower abdomen. That was probably after 10:30, close to 10:45 when it all started. I shrugged it off as just gas pain because my stomach wasn't tightening at all. (Note that I had NO contractions with Channing. I never felt one. NOT. ONE. PS. don't hate me )

So the pain continued and was quite uncomfortable, but I really thought I just needed to visit the ladies room. Finally around 11 I decided I was going to go upstairs and lay down. By the time I got up the stairs the intensity had increased to a bearable but uncomfortable level. I called John on my phone & he was upstairs in no time. He was beginning to see concern on my face and decided to time what we decided might be contractions. I finally called my sweet nurse buddy Hillary. Bless her heart, she gets all my medical questions. I sure hope she means it when she says she enjoys making her nursing skills useful. She suggested that I try a warm bath to see if that helped ease off some of the pain. I look back at my text to her & see that I says " Could this be contractions????" IT TOTALLY WAS.

We decided to call the doctor because it was not letting up & was actually intensifying. IT was the WORST THING I'VE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE! SERIOUSLY. EVER! John's time table shows that the contractions were coming every 3-4minutes and lasting for 45 secs to 1min long. The doctor said to come in, it was early, but they would hook me up to monitors and see if it was "real".  We called our sweet "grandma" Jadiene, the most precious lady from church who we had already arranged to come when it was time. Channing just adores her. She was at the house within 10 minutes. During all these things I must tell you what else was going on....BAG PACKING. This actually cracks me up because John had been telling me for about two weeks to pack a bag. Just a couple of days before he had told me to again & I suggested waiting until my next doctors appointment. So far there was no progress at my other appointments and I didn't feel a sense of urgency to get it completed. I asked him if he thought little Xander was going to come early? He just felt like I should pack my bag. I must admit that my husband is ALWAYS RIGHT. It never fails.  But alas, I am stubborn & had not completed the task. We threw a few things together in between contractions. I honestly had no idea what was in the bag.

Things really were intensifying. I could no longer get my breath or talk during the contractions and it was time to go. We got into the car and headed towards Spring Lake/Bragg Blvd. This is only about 10 minutes from home, if that. In the middle of little Spring Lake, John was on the phone with my friend Hillary & I felt a BIG CHANGE. No longer could I put my bottom on the seat. I yelled " get off the phone!!!! GO, GO, GO! & slapped on the hazard lights. John said he knew it was serious at this point. My bottom never touched the seat again & his foot never left the gas pedal. Luckily with it being 12:30 there was no traffic. This is far from typical for Bragg Blvd. during the day! As contractions continued, I prayed out loud. John was flying. I remember looking at the speedometer at one point & seeing 80.

We pulled into an active labor parking spot in the front of the hospital. I tried to get out & walk & that was not going to work, so John ran in and grabbed a wheelchair. As he was coming back a Sherriff's car pulled in behind us. I guess they saw what was going & decided to leave us alone. The hospital security guard who was a black lady no younger than 60 came out & before John could lock the car door had a hold of the wheelchair & was literally running me into the hospital. She had a license to drive that thing & had apparently had plenty of practice. We were RUNNING. I was having full blown contractions & pushing back against the chair because it hurt to put my bottom down. I apologized for pushing...she yelled " DON'T PUSH, yelled into her walky " LABOR & DELIVERY I'M ON MY WAY, YOU COPY?" We were on the fourth floor in no time & she stopped us at the registration window. In my mind I remembered how long that had taken with Channing & I knew I didn't have time for the wait. "HE'S COMING", I yelled, and the little lady ran me into triage.

Things moved very quickly at this point. My pants were striped from me. I told them I was 34 wks 5days  pregnant & heard "CALL NICU". I had not even processed that this was a possibility. I didn't think about the fact that it was too early for him to come & that something had been wrong. My ANXIETY level increased greatly at this point. I heard them say " her bag is bulging. Get her to a room." Honestly I'm not sure that I even had clothes on at this point. I still wonder what I had on when they moved me. It may have been a hospital gown. They took me to the same room where I delivered Channing & the room was bare. It was not prepared for the delivery that was quickly approaching. As I worked through contractions, John finally by my side told me that there was utter chaos in the room. Nurses were running everywhere to get papers in the right place, a baby crib prepared, NICU nurses there, an IV in.... and all the while my doctor had yet to arrive. This may sound like it was a long time period but later we realized i was in this labor & delivery room about THREE minutes before the cry of an infant filled the room!

The nurses were encouraging me to talk so that I didn't push when contractions came. It was all my body wanted to do! I said..." NATURAL CHILD BIRTH SUCKS! PEOPLE WHO DO THIS ARE STUPID". At that point, being the conscientious person that I am, I realized I may have offended some of the women in that room & said " I'm sorry if any of you did natural childbirth". Wouldn't you know the very one sticking a needle in my arm at that time would say " I did three times". OOPS! When I realized my thoughts were a bit much to be sharing, I just prayed out loud for safety for Xander and help for myself.
About that time my water bag bulged out & busted sending water everywhere & moving the "standby" midwife into motion.  She quickly pulled on gloves and arranged things to collect the mess and two seconds later a head emerged! I heard everyone go "WHOA! and the nurse said PUSH. One good push & a loud grunt from momma & a sweet cry filled the room.  As they worked, I asked for the girl who had done my IV and apologized for offending her. She of course said to not worry about it. I'll never forget that part of the story though. I was in labor for a little less than 2 hours. If I had to labor like that for 18 hrs or something crazy, I would kill someone for an epidural!

Our sweet boy was quickly carried off. This delivery was so different. No holding him chest to chest. No attempting to nurse. No love and admiration for a second old newborn. He was being observed. I looked at John, I'm sure with pure fear on my face & asked if he was ok. John assured me that he was crying and alright. He went over and took his first pic that I posted earlier but that was it. They came and told us that they were concerned about his lungs and that one may not have inflated. He was breathing very shallow and needed to be on oxygen and needed xrays so they were taking him. The nurse did allow me to kiss his cheek quickly and he was gone.

It was so strange. We sat in that room all alone going over how quickly it had all happened, but there was no baby with us to celebrate and it was very different. While they had told us that he was ok, it was just hard to grasp what was going on. We called family and let them know that he had arrived and just sat and waited.

A couple hours later they took us to our room and said he was ready to be seen. We went to the NICU and spoke with Dr. Carter who told us that he had fluid in his lungs during the quick birth. His temperature wasn't regulated and he needed help staying warm. His sugar was low so he was given some sugar water in a tube. All of these things, the doctor assured us, was typical of a 34weeker and he would be fine and grow out of it. It was just a matter of time. I'm not sure what else they said. All I wanted was to see my baby. I'm not sure I was prepared though.








I feel like these pictures are so misleading though. He was an itty bitty scrawny thing. He looks so thick & healthy in the pics. I wasn't prepared for my baby to have cords and be contained.  All we were allowed to do was look at him. No holding. It was quite possibly the saddest thing I had experienced. We stood by his bed that night, longing to hold him but unable to. I'm so thankful that God's word says when we don't know what to pray for, that they Holy Spirit cries out in prayer for us because I was at a loss as to what to do, say or how to feel.

Going to my room that morning without my baby was so hard. It seemed so strange. I slept for a couple of hours and then walked down to the NICU at 5am to see my baby. I couldn't take it any longer. Once again just sitting. Family started to visit that day and it wasn't until that evening that we were finally able to hold him!



Holding my angel made it finally feel as though I had given birth to this sweet boy. This journey would continue for 8 days, 8 very long days. More on the rest of the journey is to come.

1 comment:

Teresa Cribbs said...

WOW! Our God is so amazing! I got a little laugh at Channing being dirty from head to toe, as I remember our beach trip & the sand. What an amazing day God had planned for you & John & Channing! Xander is so precious, he has a wonderful & amazing Mom & Dad!